Can’t Sleep? How Coaching Can Help You Reclaim Your Rest

A lady sleeping peacefully in bed in a softly lit room.

After a busy day looking after your loved ones, working and taking care of your responsibilities, you fall into bed feeling mentally, emotionally and physically exhausted. Perhaps you feel numb and drained and you hope that you’ll be asleep the moment your head hits the pillow – because you need the rest. You lie there and you start to think about tomorrow. There’ll be so much to do, that to-do list seems to stretch out in front of you with unending demands. You don’t sleep, your thoughts race, your stress levels rise or you start to replay things from the past that make you cringe. Any sleep that you manage that night isn’t restful and you wake up in the morning feeling no more energised than when you went to bed. Does that sound familiar? Sleep issues are very common these days – you are not alone.

Sleep is about far more than just physical rest. While you sleep, your brain has a chance to process information and clear out mental clutter. Getting a good night’s sleep improves memory, concentration, clear thinking, problem solving, emotion regulation, stress reduction, your mood and it can increase creativity. This is quite a list of benefits already and I’ve only put in a few examples.

There are all sorts of causes of sleep disruption from stress and worry to life transitions and fear or overthinking. The trouble with these causes is that they can easily become a cycle that you get caught in. You’re stressed during the day and you anticipate stress tomorrow so you go to bed worrying about it which keeps you awake. When you get up the next day you haven’t been able to fully process anything, mentally declutter or regulate your emotions which makes it much harder to handle the stress which will keep you awake the next night – and so on. Coaching is a powerful approach that can help you to break that cycle.

Let’s have a closer look at some of the main causes of sleep disruption;

• Stress and overwhelm. In the modern world there is a lot of pressure to be productive, to be all the things all the time. In fact overwork sometimes even gets worn as a badge of honour. Living in a constant state of productivity and ‘pushing through exhaustion’ leaves no room for rest and recharging.

• Anxiety, racing thoughts, unresolved emotions. This is the realm of overthinking. When you lie in bed contemplating the future, imagining the worst scenarios – however unlikely – and also recalling unpleasant memories.

• Life transitions. Change is a natural part of life but it can still be a very uncertain and uncomfortable time, especially if the change was not of your choosing like a change in your job or relationship. Being outside of your comfort zone removes the feeling of stability you get with predictability.

• Negative self-talk or inner conflict. This can deeply impact your sleep if, when you’re trying to rest, that nagging voice that loves to point out the things you feel are your short comings or weaknesses starts talking. This self-talk isn’t based on fact, it’s based on negative emotion and all the while that it keeps you awake, you don’t get to build the resources to balance out your emotions or overcome that self-talk.

• Lack of healthy boundaries or routine. Do you find it hard to say no when you’re asked to do something, even when you know you don’t really have the energy to do it? This is common – a lot of us have to learn to establish boundaries and get comfortable with the word ‘no’. Or, when you go to bed, do you end up scrolling well into the early hours? Healthy boundaries and habits are important if you’re struggling to get your routine in place.

  
  

So, how can coaching help?

Coaching gives you the space to deeply explore where your sleep issues are coming from. Discussing it openly without fear of judgement with an individual who genuinely wants you to succeed can make a real difference to the start of your healthier sleep journey. Here are some of the ways coaching can help;

• Creates self awareness so that you can identify triggers and thought cycles that impact your sleep.

• Provides tools and strategies. These will be personalised to your individual needs and could include grounding techniques, journaling, routine setting and mindset shifts etc.

• Builds emotional resilience. Your coach will hold the space for you to process stress and change.

• Encourages accountability. You are in control of your journey and your coach will be there to help you to stay on track.

• Supports emotional growth. The feeling of being out of control in your life can have a negative impact on your sleep. Once you are taking action in a way that truly aligns with your needs and well-being, you feel more control.

Coaching isn’t just about getting some tips for better sleep. It’s about lasting transformation. It’s like embarking on a journey with a destination (in this case, better sleep) firmly in mind and your coach is with you on the path. They are your ally in the process, someone who you can be honest with about any obstacles, fears or setbacks. Your coach will also help you remember to celebrate each victory – something that often gets overlooked along the way – and to keep up the momentum.

If you find that sleep isn’t easy to come by, remember that you’re not alone and you don’t have to tackle this in isolation. Explore coaching as a way to get the tools you need to understand what’s causing your sleepless nights and take the steps toward better sleep and a calmer mind.