Valentine’s Day is centred around romantic love but love exists in many forms and I wanted to shine a light on love as a wider aspect. I’ve known a lot of people who hate this day because they’re not with a partner and so feel excluded and actually feel unloved. Or feel that their being single is emphasised by the celebration of romance. Well this is a blog about the re-framing of Valentine’s Day for those who might shy away from it or resent it for not having a partner to share it with. Let’s shift the focus from external validation to celebrating yourself.
First of all, let’s have a look at the other kinds of love out there. It sounds obvious but stay with me, as we move through this, I want you to really think about these kinds of love. What do they mean to you? What could they be and how could they grow with a bit of care and attention?
Friendship love. Consider those who you can turn to when you need support, a cup of tea or just a chat. The bond shared in a friendship is a powerful love – it’s a connection that you choose.
Family love. Take some time to appreciate the supportive connections you have within your family. Remember that certain friendships cross over into this category. Some friends become family.
Passion and purpose. This is the love of your hobbies, dreams and career. What are the things that you love to pour your heart into?
Community love. Showing kindness and compassion in your neighbourhood. It’s about the small acts of kindness that make a big difference.
Self-love. Contrary to what you might have heard, self love is not selfish. It’s not about ignoring the needs of others, it’s about making your own needs a priority. It’s about not neglecting yourself and showing yourself that you matter.
So, what is self love in action? What does it look like? We’re all individuals and self-love looks different for each of us. For example, some of my forms of self love include cosy blankets (at this time of year), good books, listening to music and journaling. I know people whose self-love manifests as exercise, creative pursuits like pottery and needlework and writing books. Self love is as individual as we are. Here are some ideas for a heartfelt Valentine’s Day;
Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to a spa day, a favourite meal or a cosy night in with a film. (This year I’ll be going with the favourite meal and a film option!)
Write a love letter to yourself. Get comfortable, grab a hot chocolate and slowly and deliberately write a celebration of your strengths and your personal growth.
Joyful activities. Do something that truly brings you joy. Spend some time doing something creative, play a sport or grab your guitar!
Digital detox. Step away from the online world and give yourself a break from scrolling for a few hours.
Presence. Be there with yourself. Breathe and just exist. Let yourself become aware of your thoughts, your feelings and your surroundings. Really take it in, you’ll be amazed at how much there is to experience once you’re in the present and not rerunning the past or worrying about the future.
Celebrate your wins. No excuses, no shying away, just recognising what you have done and letting yourself be proud of you. It might feel uncomfortable at first but trust the process.
Going beyond Valentine’s Day, it’s important to remember that self love isn’t just for one day. If you haven’t made the time for prioritising yourself before then let this be the day that that changes. Let the focus of love on Valentine’s Day inspire you to create and maintain a self love routine throughout the year because you matter every day. If that sounds like a lot of effort, self love is valid in all forms and small daily acts of kindness towards yourself lead to a deeper sense of self worth and self appreciation.
Show yourself that you’re important and you matter with affirmations, gratitude and mindfulness – and indulging in favourite pastimes, passions and hobbies. Let your interests grow and allow self love to become a long term habit.
Valentine’s Day is a reminder that you are worthy of love exactly as you are. It’s a reminder that love exists in many forms and it doesn’t have to come from a romantic partner. Love starts from within. Let Valentine’s Day 2025 be the beginning of you celebrating yourself every day.