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Why Do We Find Change So Frightening?

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Have you ever had something that you really wanted to do? Or have you been doing things that you don’t really want to do, that you’re not sure how you ended up doing anyway? Then, as you’ve thought about the changes you’d like to make, it suddenly seems frightening, overwhelming and too much. Suddenly it’s too much of a challenge to make those changes and, even though you’re no entirely happy with things as they are, at least they’re predictable. Stable. Reliable. Is it better to be in a reliably unfulfilled situation? Let’s have a look at the nature of change and why, when push comes to shove, it can feel like it’s too much.


Change is a fundamental aspect of life. From the day we are born to the day we die, we are in a constant state of flux. If we and those around us never changed then, well, nothing would change. Ever. Yet, despite its inevitability, change often evokes a deep-seated fear in many of us. But why is this the case? Why do we find change so frightening?


The Comfort of the Known

One of the primary reasons we fear change is our preference for the familiar. Humans are creatures of habit. We find comfort and security in routines and predictability. The known, even if it's not ideal, provides a sense of stability and control. Change, on the other hand, disrupts this stability. It introduces uncertainty and the unknown, which can be daunting. There are often additional factors to include in the calculation. Responsibilities to family, the need for a steady income or the perceived lack of time to embrace something new and different are often factors that come up that hold us securely in place.


Fear of the Unknown

The unknown is a significant source of fear. When we face change, we are often stepping into uncharted territory. This lack of knowledge about what lies ahead can trigger anxiety and fear. Our brains are wired to protect us, and when faced with uncertainty, they tend to imagine worst-case scenarios as a means of preparing for potential threats. This survival mechanism, while useful in primitive times, can be paralysing in modern life. This fear can also give rise to deep routed self doubt, knocking our confidence and causing us to question if we are even able to make the change.


Loss of Control

Change can make us feel as though we are losing control over our lives. Whether it's a new job, a move to a different city, or a significant life event like marriage or the birth of a child, change often requires us to adapt and make adjustments. This perceived loss of control can be unsettling and contribute to our fear of change. Despite the fact that we may not be living the life that truly resonates with us and our values, if we feel like we have at least one hand of the wheel, we feel better. The unknown can feel like we not only have no hands on the wheel but it can take a while to find the wheel again, because it’s moved!


Fear of Failure

With change comes the possibility of failure. When we venture into the unknown, there's always a chance that things won't go as planned. This fear of failure can be a powerful deterrent to embracing change. We worry about not meeting our own or others' expectations, which can prevent us from taking risks and trying new things. Another, less considered, deterrent is the fear of success. Sound strange? Perhaps, but it’s true nonetheless. When embarking on real change, the fear of a goal actually becoming a reality can be frightening. Goals can seem safer when they are strictly in the daydream stage.


Past Experiences

Our past experiences with change can also shape our current fears. If we've had negative experiences with change in the past, we might be more apprehensive about future changes. Conversely, if we've navigated change successfully before, we might be more open to embracing it. This is an important one to bear in mind as we may not be aware of the association with past change experiences. Try to remember that if something didn’t work before, it’s an opportunity to learn.


Social Influence

Society and the people around us can also influence our perception of change. If our social circles are resistant to change, we might adopt similar attitudes. Additionally, societal norms and expectations can pressure us to conform, making it harder to embrace change that goes against the grain. This can be where finding your tribe can be a real help with transformation. It doesn’t mean dropping all of your current social group, but finding others with similar ideals can be a real help if you are wanting to make changes in your life.


The Role of Personality

Personality traits play a significant role in how we perceive and react to change. Some people are naturally more open and adaptable, while others may be more resistant. Understanding your personality can help you navigate change more effectively. For instance, if you know you tend to be resistant to change, you can take proactive steps to manage your fears and anxieties. Keep in mind what you have achieved so far. Celebrate the small steps and don’t let your cup of positive energy run dry, keep topping it up with positive self talk.


Overcoming the Fear of Change

While fear of change is natural, it's important not to let it hold you back. Here are some strategies to help you embrace change:


*Acknowledge Your Fears: Recognise and accept your fears. Understanding the root cause of your fear can help you address it more effectively.

*Focus on the Positive: Instead of dwelling on potential negative outcomes, focus on the opportunities and positive aspects of change.

*Take Small Steps: Gradual changes can be less intimidating than drastic ones. Break down the change into smaller, manageable steps.

*Seek Support: Surround yourself with supportive people who encourage and motivate you.

*Stay Flexible: Cultivate a flexible mindset that allows you to adapt to new situations more easily.

*Learn from the Past: Reflect on past experiences with change and learn from them. Use these lessons to navigate future changes more confidently.


Change is an inevitable part of life, and while it can be frightening, it also presents opportunities for growth and improvement. By understanding the reasons behind our fear of change and adopting strategies to manage it, we can learn to embrace change and use it to our advantage. Remember, it's not the change itself that is inherently scary, but our perception of it. With the right mindset, support and approach, we can turn the fear of change into a powerful catalyst for personal development and success.

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Contact Nadia;

Email; info@mindkindcentral.co.uk

Phone; 07742723606

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Disclaimers; MindKind Central is not associated with Mind, the National Association for Mental Health.
                     All images on this website, except for those of myself, are modelled and for illustration purposes only.

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